My challenge is,

staying on course for the most important things

in life for long enough.

But as I work towards them,

it’s possible for me to control my actions for

one day… one week…,

but to stay on course for one quarter… one year… and beyond that,

I seem to miss the track.

How can I do that better?

There are things in life that I like,

and the things in life that I love.

In aspects of life which I like

I give myself a choice.

In aspects which I love,

I don’t give myself a choice.

I do not still think I have a choice,

I put myself into a choiceless state.

Now, another way of putting it,

it’s called discipline.

Being there on time,

I put myself into a choiceless state.

But if I start deliberating on this, then I will feel –

this person will always come on time, so I’ll go on time.

That person will not come on time,

so for that person, I need not go on time.

I might go into that state.

But I’ve just put myself into a choiceless state.

Wherever I put myself into a state where I think I have the choice,

attention span is a problem.

Sustaining it day after day, week after week, year after year is a problem.

Because life is too distracting right now.

And the decision you made in yesterday’s maturity,

in the today’s maturity,

seems irrelevant.

Now, you actually feel you don’t have to apply this anymore at all.

It seems irrelevant.

There’s only one way to sustain anything long enough.

You have to throw yourself into a choiceless state.

If you keep deliberating you will keep stopping.

If you keep deliberating you will keep getting distracted.

There are things I like and there are things that I love.

Things that I like I give myself a choice.

Things I love, I don’t give myself a choice.

In fact, every marriage that is has worked,

has worked because you were in a choiceless state.

Every marriage that has fallen apart,

has fallen apart because they gave themselves a choice.

Avalothan! (That is all!)

There is no husband sitting here

who at least once in the night did not think –

Athu menne pudichu (strangulate…) –

there’s no husband sitting here who has not thought about.

There is no wives sitting here who did not think that,

one day when the husband is sleeping –

Antha ammikalle thuki mandela Pottu (Crush his head with the grinding stone…) –

there’s nobody who has not thought about it!

Every marriage that has worked here,

for heaven’s sake,

do not think that the made for each other…

Athellam Onnume Kidayathu (There is nothing like that!).

A lot of husband and wife started believing in karma after their marriage!

Somebody got carry forward; somebody’s got borrowing…

Etho mattikichi (Got stuck!).

A lot of marriages survived because

we produce children and for the sake of children,

they stay together and then

slowly after some time you get used to each other’s manufacturing defect.

You get used to it.

Every marriage that has survived,

survived because you did not give yourself a choice and

every relationship that fell apart,

fell apart because you gave a choice.

So even in a country like India,

where the institution of marriage is supposed to be very very sacred,

marriages survive not because of culture.

Somebody there, if not both, at least one,

put themselves into a choiceless state and saying that –

‘I will make it work’.

Every child who completed at least up to graduation,

completed up to graduation,

because they didn’t give themselves a choice

and any one of you here,

who did not even complete graduation,

you dropped out from studies halfway through

and you were a relief to your teachers is because…
You gave… Illa… (No…)

But think about some of your teachers know,

going through that answer sheet

hoping that at least now this will be right…

ethuvum right Illey (This is also nor right)

next will be right…

and some of the answers you would have written know,

your teacher would have read the answer and then checked –

‘What was the question?’  Enna…  (Because…)

Your answer would have been so confidently wrong.

I’ve done that.

Sometimes… if I… see I’ve studied something and come,

you have not asked any question

on what I have studied and come… whose mistake?

Whose mistake?

That fellow studied everything and come.

That’s different.  I’ve studied only so much and came.

A good teacher should ask questions on what I have studied and come…

In interview what they ask you –

‘Tell me something about yourself…’

Then we can say.

I go to interview and somebody asks –

‘Tell me something about my neighbor.’

Asked me questions on what I know.

‘Why did you succeed in the previous job or

why did you fail in the previous job?’

I can tell you.

If you ask me, ‘Why did Steve Jobs succeed?’ How will I know?

Correcta Illaya?  (Correct or not?)

I have studied this and come, you ask question on that…  whose mistake?

And what am I supposed to do?

Whatever I’ve studied, before I forget by tomorrow,

what I have studied, I want to use it somewhere.

So 20 mark kelvi vanthuthuna, (So if a 20 mark question is asked,)

enaku therintha answere ezhudhitu vandhuruven.
(I’ll write what I have studied…)

Athu enna kelvi engarathepathi enaku kavalaye kidayathu!
(I will not be bothered about what the question is!)

And I feel I’ve passed in some of the exams because,

some teacher felt at least something in you… right.

Oru 5 marks podalam
(Let us give 5 marks) Okay.

That’s how I passed on some of the subjects.

I think everybody who had dropped out from studies,

dropped out from studies or

dropped out from anything that you do

because you gave yourself a choice.

Everything any one of us took up and

we did it to the very end to the finishing line is because

we did not give ourselves a choice.

Even as simple as sitting in the seat of silence,

and you have said – ‘It’s going to be 20 minutes’,

and you have set up alarm in your mobile for 20 minutes and

you’re sitting there,

you will complete 20 minutes

if you don’t give yourself a choice.

And initially, that’s how you can do.

Everything in your system will say,

‘Enough, small beginning only is required.

Slowly, you can build.

Straightaway you don’t have to do 20 minutes.

Check whether mobile is working or not?  No, it is working…’

Everything will tell you.

But those of you who initially sat there for

20 minutes, 25 minutes, 30 minutes sat there –

simply not because you were spiritually very deep and other things.

You just did not give yourself a choice.

The secret of longevity in life is to

put yourself into a choiceless state.

Don’t give yourself a choice.

There’s no other way to do it.