Her essential question was that

there used to be a lot of

gap and respect

between the current generation

and the elder generation,

when they parented us in our generation.

But right now,

I relate with my children

as if they are my best friends

and I assume that

they share everything with me,

but then one day they give us

so much sadness…

then you realize

they have not actually shared

everything with us.

If somewhere

your children,

in spite of relating to you as a friend,

have not shared

a very pertinent issue

or a pertinent aspect of their life…

that lack of transparency is

they are 100% convinced

in this somewhere

there is an identity issue.

That identity issue can be anything;

it can be you won’t agree for drinking, it can be this;

you will not permit smoking, it can be this;

you will not allow a love marriage to happen, it can be this;

you will not allow an inter caste marriage to happen, it can be this;

you will not agree for going

and settling down in a

or studying in another geography;

you will not agree for a hostel.

So anytime they feel that

there is limits to this transparency…

Again, listen, listen, listen,

I’m not supporting them.

See I’m a teacher,

I am explaining scenarios to you.

I have no sides here.

If the child has asked the question

I would have explained to the child;

if the parent has asked the question,

I explained it to the parent,

explaining the scenario.

So understand this entire concept.

Somewhere you can call this as a friendship only if

I can psychologically be naked

and know that

you will still not distance yourself from me.

Only then it can be called a friendship.

Otherwise, it’s not a friendship.

If somewhere at some stage

if you’re gonna make me feel

you’re not that important to me;

my religion is more important to me,

you’re not that important to me;

my samaj are is more important to me,

you’re not important to me, Lok kya kahengey… (What will the world think?)

Mahatria, is it wrong?

It’s not wrong,

each one of you have a right to live whichever way you want.

I’m not here to discuss anything.

I’m only telling you to that one sentence, you said,

I thought she was sharing everything with me,

but only to realize one day,

the most important aspect was not shared,

the most important aspect was not shared.

Because in that aspect, your daughter or son would have felt,

for you, some of these other identities are more important

than what the daughter or the son wants in life.

And that time they will hold it back.

I just want you to be aware of this.

Having said this,

the only way to be a great parent

to the current generation is

you have to be their best friend.

You have to be their best friend, there is no other way.

The ‘go to’ person for your children have to be parents.

That is the only way you can parent that

that generation…

that generation is over.

See, we lived in a generation where

emotions was the basis of relationship.

We are living at a time

when information is the basis of relationship,

it’s not emotions.

And because information is the basis of relationship,

we need to talk a lot more…

we need to converse a lot more…

with whomever they are talking a lot

with whomever they can converse a lot,

whoever they feel are hearing them out

are the people they are going to see as friends.

So today, that type of parenting will not work.

If you want to be a great parent to your children,

you have to invest enough quality time

to have conversations with them.

You can agree with them,

you can disagree with them.

There can be different points of view,

it can end on a bad note,

you have to again tomorrow speak.

But the only way you can be a great parent today is…

you need to be the best friend of your children.

And the only way that children,

in fact children Illa (Not only with children),

I want to replace it with every relationship.

There was a time that

if you provided enough

or if you cooked enough –

you are considered a great spouse.

Right now, you have to be my best friend

if you have to be a great spouse.

Right now intellectual companionship

is becoming the basis of any good marriage.

In fact, I’m asking infinitheists itself

to see if we can replace that expression to

‘friends for a lifetime’

instead of using ‘husband and wife’.

I found my friend for a lifetime

because that is the only way you can have

meaningful marital relationships

that you are each other’s best friends.

There’s no other way to do it.